Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Sweet vs Sour?

Oh how I wish there were never any difficult, hard, painful, terrible, troublesome, wearying, weeping times in life. If only the world were a spoonful of sugar, sunshine, lollipops and rainbows all of the time! I know you've had exactly the very same thought before, if not more than once.

However if I give wisdom a look in, I have realized that sweet and sour are a package deal. You can't have one without the other (think 'Married with Children' theme music). It's those mouth puckering, eye scrunching sour moments that allow us to see just how sweet, sweet truly is. If you ate candy for breakfast, lunch, dinner and all the snacks in between surely it wouldn't seem so very wonderful, remember Edward and all his Turkish Delight tummy aches in 'The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe'.

Life has had me pinned to the ground by the scruff of the neck of late. As I mentioned in my last post, I've recently been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. The nasty side effects of new medication, the pain of the 'emotional surgery' (as my mum so aptly named it) from talking to a psychiatrist, and just anxiety in general have made me feel like I've just gone a round with Mike Tyson and he is a professional boxer, me.....not. So the result would be classed as a 'knock out'.

It's down here, on the ground that I've realized the sourest of moments shows me how brightly the sun shines. People react in many different ways when you're down for the count. Some keep walking and talking as if you're right there with them and nothing has happened. Some stand by you with sympathetic looks on their faces and pat you on the back. Some thoughtlessly chastise you about not wanting to subject yourself to horrible stories on the news or some film about refugees (because more woe is exactly what I need at the moment). Some offer you a hand in an effort to help you up, and then there are those beautiful, rare few who sit, or even lie down in the muck on the ground with you.

These rare angels don't try to fix your woes or pretend like everything is peachy. They just get down close, next to you and offer you the precious gift of companionship as you struggle. I have a handful of these amazing people in my life, and it is this current 'sour' time in my life that has given them the opportunity to show me the depth of their care for me. I knew they loved me, but I didn't know they loved me this much.

My husband is one of these fine specimen of people. I've changed my medication recently and this new one makes me nauseous like the worst of stomach bugs. And to add the the drama, at the very same time I got that body aching flu :( He made me chicken soup and garlic bread, bought me Coyote Ugly on blue ray, got 3 different types of mint lollies to help with the 'vomits' and purchased a 'throw rug' so that I wouldn't be cold when I sat on the couch. What a rare breed of man I married.

When I fall asleep at night I've taken to saying an ABC prayer of gratefulness to keep my mind distracted, it's the most wonderful idea. For each letter of the alphabet I say one thing, anything, that I'm grateful for and work my way through until I fall asleep. There are a number of names that keep popping up each night, and I have realized that it's in my darkest moments that these amazing people have opportunity to shine.

Dark & Light, Day & Night, Sweet & Sour, Black & White.... you see they are two pieces of a puzzle, you can't have one without the other. They make each other and give definition and clarity to the one another. So next time you're down and out, experiencing that sourness, keep your eyes peeled for the sweetness that will etch it's way through the darkness and wrap itself around your heart. It will delight you beyond words.

1 comment:

Anna said...

Gorgeous painting to go with your post. You write so beautifully. Always praying for our bec xx